In Praise of a Failed Mother
It’s difficult to describe my mother’s character. She could be good or bad, both or neither. Every state was equally true of her. Like the illnesses that bedeviled her, the shifting highs, lows, and inbetweens were tempestuous and unpredictable. Only recently have I realized there was a constant beneath the storm, so firm that I took it for granted, one that made all the difference: I never doubted that she loved me.
A Teddy Bear with No Name
“And it is that word ‘hummy,’ my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.”
—Dorothy Parker
The Bel Air Shop Easy in Just You And Me, Kid
When I was ten, we lived across the street from the now departed Bel Air Shop Easy. It was an independent supermarket, nothing special but close by and pleasantly quirky. I spent a lot of time there killing time and knew half the employees. It figured prominently in the comedy Just You And Me, Kid, starring Brooke Shields and George Burns. (Even aged fourteen and co-starring with an octogenarian, Ms. Shields still manages to lose her clothes briefly.) The movie is fairly saccharine, not quite poisonous, but the kind of thing I avoid. On the other hand I have to disagree with Ms. Parker regarding Winnie the Pooh & Co. Perhaps it’s just my warped sense of humor, but what a wonderful den of anthropomorphized animals aching for therapy.
You know you have ADD when…
There was once an excellent page on the site fdisk.com (yes, the internet is ephemeral) describing Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), linking a subpage where visitors could leave their memories of doing ADD things. Most of the entries were funny, but many were bittersweet. ADD is a genuine disability—both underdiagnosed and overdiagnosed—with a likely neurological and genetic predisposition that can destroy schoolwork, careers, and relationships. It carries an increased risk of depression and even suicide. Although most people experience some of these quirks, clinical ADD is different in kind and degree. It begins in childhood, manifests itself in multiple areas of life, and may persist into adulthood. Perhaps you will see yourself in an uncanny way as you read these.
Here are several hundred curated one-liners from a list (originally a list of thousands):
You know you have ADD when…
…suddenly you realize somebody has been talking to you and you don’t have a clue what they said.
…you get to work and find the remote in your purse.
…you have a cup of coffee at bedtime and get to sleep faster than usual.
Read more…Herman Has Been Found
An email came a few days ago telling me that Herman had been found. That’s great, I thought, but who is Herman? It explained that Herman’s “chip” had been scanned and the serial number matched at an animal shelter in Colorado. So Herman probably wasn’t human. The email was meant for a Douglas Schultzberg (which sounds like but is not his real name).
I replied briefly and set the email aside. Still, I was curious about Herman. My son and I agreed Herman must be a cat, because Herman isn’t a good dog name. Dog’s names have to be something you’re willing to shout out in public without embarrassing yourself or the dog. Herman doesn’t sound right—says the man with a lanky coonhound named Daisy. (Hey, she came to us that way.)
The Plight and Slight of Twice Exceptional Kids
I was speaker #22 (video here) last week at our county school board meeting regarding next year’s budget. I was there to object to plans to eliminate the twice exceptional (2e) program. The program was a modest budget item and amounted to one counselor at one of our four high schools, but some viewed it as unnecessary.
Andrew Wells Douglass 